Necessary Evil

That's what I have dubbed the (doom, doom, doom) PAP SMEAR!!!!

Yesterday was my annual check-up. I had the customary Pap Smear and HIV test. The HIV test is a whole nother can of worms. I hate needles! I am known to shed a few tears before, during and after any blood work. A few years ago, the nurse actually threatened to make me come back if I didn't let her go ahead and stick me...LOL!!! Anyway, you would think that by now I would be comfortable with this whole cervical check thingy, but I'm not. It has to be the most humiliating and uncomfortable experience I have ever had to endure.

My doctor is this Asian lady that I am convinced doesn't like me or she thinks I'm crazy. She treats me like I'm a basket case. I will admit that I am a slight hypochondriac, but who wouldn't be in this day and age of diseases and viruses. Every time I turn on the tv there is a new drug commercial telling me that if I have an itchy ear, beating heart and a cough that I need to go see the doctor. Or, there is a new study that says if you breathe air it could raise your cholestoral. So, what is a responsible person suppose to do? Go see the doctor! I have health insurance for a reason and I'm going to get my money's worth. So, Dr. Lim (that's her name) can kiss my ass while she checks my blood pressure and takes my damn temperature.

While in the waiting room at the doctor's office I was texting this guy I've recently become interested in and I told him that my doctor was an Asian woman...this fool had the nerve to say that was his fantasy. Men. I hope that during his prostate exam the tool gets stuck and scars him for life...LOL! I don't understand why men are so insensitive to all the things that women have to endure just to remain healthy and have their water head kids. What about a doctor (male or female) standing or sitting in-between a woman's legs with a bright shining light, sticking a latex gloved finger or two up inside her while the doctor pushes hard on her stomach seems fun or sexual? You know what Men on second thought...don't answer that question. I won't even mention the "duck lips". Women, you know what I'm talking about...What sounds right about a doctor scrapping a woman's cervix? Nothing, I say!!!! It's uncomfortable and embarrasing. Lord forbid that something is not alright in the vagina world...you get my drift...then, you have to look this person in the eye. UGH! It's a conspiracy I tell you...Eve and that damn apple!

Everything checked out fine. Of course, I have to wait on the results of the HIV test and the pap smear...but, those should be all good, too.

I left the doc's office with stomach cramps and spotting from the cervical brush. Whatever. My right arm hurt from the needle that at first try was unsuccessful in draining my blood. I've never understood why they need to draw so much damn blood to test for HIV in the first place...I mean prick my finger for goodness sake and tell me the scoop! I wanted to stop by the nail place to get the double whammy (pedicure and fill-in) but, I lost all energy and resolve. Besides, my belly was unsettled from the anxiety and the pushing on the abdomen to see if my uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes were in tact. (((rolling my eyes)))

What I would give to be a man for once....

NOTHING!!! Because women are the superior being. If a man had to endure what we women go through he would die a thousand deaths and then complain about it every damn day!!!!

SMOOCHES ;)