My Butt Is Bigger Than Yours...

That's what this GUY that is trying to date me told me...WTF!

It all started with me being at the nail shop yesterday texting him about this lady next to me who was getting her feet done. She had straight up hammer time. Green toenails and all. The conversation went like this:

Me: Do you remember the episode of Martin where Shanaynay was doing that lady's feet and she had to pull out the chainsaw? That's what is happening today.
Him: LOL! Yeah she had to take over for the other girl.
Me: I'm not lying. We are both getting our feet done and I don't want to stare.
Him: Well you do have nicer feet than most.
Me: Thanks
Him: But my butt is bigger :)

WTF!?!

First of all, why did that even come up in the nonrelated conversation. Second, why is he competing with me? We're not girlfriends...or are we? Thirdly, what makes him think that's cute or funny to say to ANYONE?! That's some shit me and my girls would say to each other when we were 15. Grown ass women don't talk like that, so why would I want to hear it from a man that's trying to win me over. THAT AIN'T HOW TO DO IT. And, he wonders why I question his sexuality and don't want to date him.

So, he tries to tell me that it was just a joke and I need to calm down because it's not that serious. Classic control tactic...you know, tell a person their overreacting so they feel bad about it. WRONG! That doesn't work on me. I'm in touch with my emotions and don't have any problem expressing them. Don't joke with me like that. That's not cute. All the men I know with big booties try to conceal it...not brag about it. You're bragging to the wrong one baby, but I can introduce you to Tyrone. He might think it's funny.

For those of you that know me, have seen my picture and read my blog often...do I look like, sound like, or act like I want a gay boyfriend? If not, why the Fuck do all these gay ass men flock to me. I'm not looking for a Will to my Grace. You feel me? I'll take a Jack as a friend to help me spot the pretenders, but that's it. I don't want you stick your shit laced penis in me. Keep that to yourself. This isn't HollyWood. I'm not looking to be someone's beard...

I have told him over and over again that if he's gay or has gay feelings that's okay. Do you, but don't do me...I have nothing againt the homosexual life style. I do have issue with the Down Low lifestyle. That's what will make me take a contract out on a nigga's life...fucking with my health and sanity. Just keep it real. He keeps displaying all the classic signs, but looks me in the eye and denies it. That makes me dislike him even more. I feel like he's trying to pull a slick one on me. I feel like he needs a girlfriend to show to the world. To hide his behind closed door behavior. I'm not the Fag Hag...it won't be me.

Needless to say, I have told him over and over again that I'm not interested in pursuing anything further. I listed his questionable sexuality as one reason why we couldn't go any further. He didn't even blink an eye. That's another thing that makes me think I'm hitting the nail on the head. I'll say that I think he has gay tendencies and he'll just shrug. To get him to out right deny it I have to press the issue. Otherwise, he'll just side step the claim like I didn't even say it. WTF is that about? So, we're still "friends", but he keeps trying to push up on me. That pisses me off. STOP FLIRTING WITH ME! It's making my skin crawl because I know he's gay in my soul. In a minute I'm just going to stop being nice...take the gloves off and tell him ass what I really think about him. I keep trying to being PC about it. I'm not in the business to be hurting folks feelings, but some people are just gluttons for punishment.

Tell me what you think?

Smooches :)