What A Girl Wants...

My cousin MIT had a small gathering this evening for the holiday. We just threw a few things on the grill, played dominoes, and drank Margaritas, while movies played in the background. This one guy that I'll call OBGYN, because that's his profession, starts discussing his list of attributes that a woman most possess in order for him to date her. The catagories were: Essentials, Valuables and Bonus. After having this conversation it prompted me to sit down and write my own list. Check it out below:

Essentials (Must Haves)

1. Christian
2. Integrity
3. Marriage is important (Sanctity of it)
4. Attractive
5. Good Sense of Humor
6. Empathy
7. Educated

Valuables (High on the list of priorites, but sacrifices can be made if all other qualities are present)

1. Paternal
2. Black (Culturally)
3. Affectionate
4. Romantic
5. Financially Savvy

Bonus (Things that are a plus...icing on the cake)

1. Cook
2. Clean (Tidy)
3. Adventurous
4. No Kids

This wasn't an easy task. It actually makes you sit and take stock of everything you will and won't put up with. Let's be realistic...nobody is perfect and no one will possess every last attribute you want. So, this system allows you to rank the attributes by level of importance and it allows you be realistic at the same time.

I would like to make an Addendum to the original format of the list presented to me by OBGYN. Let's discuss Deal Breakers. These are more than things that are the opposite of the things you want. I mean, that goes without saying. These are things that no matter how good the sex is, or how much money he makes, or how much he makes you laugh, you will not deal with this shit! That Man or Woman will not pass Go and will not collect $200! It's just as important if not more important to know what you Won't put up with. Below are my deal breakers:

Deal Breakers (Even if you possess all of the above, these things will end it all)

1. Homosexual (Thanks Nsane!)
2. Drug Addict/Alcoholic
3. Insecure
4. Abusive (Mentally, Physically or Emotionally)
5. Inconsiderate
6. Stingy

I may have left some things out of all 4 lists. But, these are the things that are most important to me. The hard part will be implementation. Walking away from people that are less than what I want or know that I deserve. I'm working on it, though...

So, what does your list look like?

Smooches :)

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Back to Truth or Dare

Robert Mack and his Cuz Tiger gave me a Truth: have you ever been with an athlete or famous person? If so, who?

Yes, I dated both an Athlete and a famous person. I would never name names. Hell, you don't even know my real name.

I met this particular NFL'er in 2002 at the University of Arkansas. Me and some friends took a road trip there for Kappa Weekend. I met him through one of my friends. They were both Kappa's and he was there visiting his undergrad university. We politicked that weekend, exchanged numbers and kept in touch. A few months later he flew me down South for a week where he was staying and playing for a particular NFL Team. He was nursing a torn Tendon back to health and was extremely stressed because he wasn't the 1st string Wide Receiver, so the last thing he needed was an injury. Every morning he got up mad early for Physical Therapy and went to bed early. After I left we chatted on the phone and emailed a lot. At the start of the season that year HBO or Showtime, I can't remember which, did a special on his team and he was showcased. During the show he injured himself again and ended his career. Luckily for him, he actually was a smart dude that graduated from college with a good degree. I haven't seen or heard from or about him since.

My Second NFL'er was a Wide Receiver for a team in the same city I stayed in while I was in college. I think this was 2001, the same season the team went to the Super Bowl and lost. This was the season right before he was traded to the Lions. Anyway, I was at the club with my girls. Mind you, I was very well connected in that city. I worked as a Sales Rep for the local Hip-Hop and R&B Radio Station. Between me and my girls we knew the who's who of the city, so I thought I was the shit. So, my boy comes over to me and says, "Hey, I want to introduce you to somebody." I glance back and notice him looking all sexy and what not, so I say, "Cool" and we start walking over. Mind you, I wasn't into football like that, so I had no idea who he was. We walk up and Red introduces us. Dude raises his hand to tell me to wait a minute. Now, my attitude is much better now, so you know 4 years ago I wasn't having it. So, when he threw up his hand and told me to wait a minute I told his ass to hold that thought and walked off. Some time passes and I'm on the dance floor getting down. All of a sudden I feel an arm around my waist and he spins me around face to face and we just start dancing. That's when I start hearing whispers and people watching. All the time I'm thinking who is this guy and why does everyone keep jocking him? For the rest of the night he had me and my girls hemmed up. So, we exchange numbers and set a date for a date. By the time the date rolled around I was well informed of who he was. He came and scooped me, went out to eat and actually had a fun date. I felt like I was back in High school or something. About a week later we're chit-chatting on the phone and he had the nerve to ask me if I would come over and wash his clothes! WTF! I told his ass that he had me fucked up and that I was the college student, so if anything he could bring he ass over my house and wash my clothes...I'm the one that needs the help! He got all huffy and ended the conversation. Needless to say, we stopped dating...LOL! He didn't call me and I didn't call him. I'm stubborn.

A few months after that one of the star players on the team had a party at his house that I had an invite to through my boy who was on their Marketing team. I saw him there hugged up and feeling on some white chick. We hugged when he saw me and he and I just laughed and I shook my head. He laughed, too. It all made sense. Like I said, he was free agent after that year and left the city.

As for the Celebrity I dated. This was in 2003, while I was still in college, but 5 months before I graduated and moved to Boston. That's what ended our dating...me moving to Boston. Me and my girls were at this basketball game that this very well known rapper always has. My girl went to high school with a lot of members of the Rap Group that this rapper came from before he went solo. One of them was her high school sweetheart. So, whenever we saw them it was nothing, but love. This particular time we were out, one of the guys pulled her aside and inquired about me in his shy way...LOL! I?m sorry, it's bringing back memories. Long story short, we started dating as much as we could in-between him being on the road and out of the country performing. Whenever he was back in town we would connect, hang out and talk while he was out of town. From the beginning, we started dating under the notion that it wouldn't last forever because I was leaving the city and I didn't want that kind of drama of having a man that was on the road all the time and I don't even live in his home city to be there when he came home. I'm a realist. I wasn't trying to get that involved. Besides, we had a good time, but not well enough for me to be bent out of shape. And, since I'm not star struck and he was just a regular dude to me I didn't try to make more out of it then what it was. So, after I left we continued to talk ever so often and whenever he comes to Boston to do a show he calls me up to hang out. He hasn't been here in awhile and last I heard he had a baby by this chick in the city I left before coming to Boston.

That's all I think I can actually say I dated or had a date with. Although, I have met, hung out with and know a lot more people!