Super Bowl Shuffle?
GO BEARS!!!!
I am ecstatic that the Bears are finally in the playoffs. I am even more ecstatic that they are going against Dungy! 2 black coaches battling in the Super Bowl on the first Sunday of Black History Month! Who would have thunk. Then you got OB running for president, even though I don?t think he's ready, but that's another post all together.
What's going on with me?
Chilling like a villain. I know that was wack, LOL! But, I'm feeling really silly right now as I type this from my desk.
***Weekend in Review***
Hershey, Hershey, Hershey.
***The End***
LOL! Just kidding, although we did hang out Friday and Saturday. We did the movie at the crib thing on Friday and Saturday we did dinner, J. Foxx concert and Blue Wave (a club).
I never paid attention to just how fine J.amie Fo.xx really is. I mean, post forehead hair plugs. Don't act like you didn't know he had his hairline pulled down over his forehead. Check out some old J.amie Fo.xx show reruns and then look at a picture of him now. You'll see. Anyway, he looks good. The concert was half comedy show and half music. I must admit the comedy portion was much better than the music. And, I was so tired of him saying he won an Oscar. After you applaud 5 times, you don't want to hear it anymore! We get it... you won an Oscar! All in all, I had a good time and I'm glad I went.
The ish hit the fan between Hershey and me at the very end of the night. The whole SC thing came up again, through no fault of his own...not entirely, anyway. I feel us getting closer, but I also feel like he's impeding our progress.
***Long Story Short***
I didn't want to end the night. I wanted to go back to his place, curl up and watch another movie. You know, wake up together. He didn't think it was a good idea because he was afraid of what MIGHT happen and he's not ready to take our relationship to another level until he has worked everything out in his head.
Ok, cool...I get that. BUT...
1. We're not having sex! I'm not ready for that, period! Last time I had sex, the experience scarred me. He wasn't worth it and neither was the sex. He completely overstated his position in life, his morals, his relationship status, and everything else that came out his mouth. So, I want to take my time.
2. You are conciously keeping me at arms length stopping our natural progression.
3. How long are we going to be on hold? Seriously! We spend damn near every weekend together, which is prime real-estate, I might add. The more time we spend together we're naturally going to get closer or grow apart, but I don't see the latter happening. So, again, how long do I wait?
So, I basically told him that if he intends on ending things in the future he might as well end them now because I won't allow myself to be stringed along. In all fairness, I know he's struggling and thinking about what to do. I also know that he likes me a great deal. But, this isn't about him. It isn't even about us, because we haven't made it that far. It's about me. End of story. I have to do what makes me happy and if he isn't the man for the job, then we have to move on!
Of course, when I paraphrased the above, he wouldn't let me get out the car. He couldn't believe that I had just given him an ultimatum and that I was willing to walk away from him and the situation. He's not ready for that to happen. He just wants a little time to resolve within himself the choices that are laid in front of him. My biggest fear is that he'll look up 6 months from now and realize life without kids is not a possibility.Where would that leave me? Alone and dejected. Even though I've done more research and discovered there is a 50/50 chance the child will have SC. So, all is not lost.
Needless to say, we ended up spending then night together after he convinced me not to leave. We went back to his place, watched a movie On-Demand and fell asleep. See, how easy that was? Damn!
From this point forward the ball is exclusively in his court. I'm going to sit back, relax and let him have the space he needs to be okay with whatever decision his heart, mind, and spirit leads him to.
I'm already okay with it.
Smooches :)
I am ecstatic that the Bears are finally in the playoffs. I am even more ecstatic that they are going against Dungy! 2 black coaches battling in the Super Bowl on the first Sunday of Black History Month! Who would have thunk. Then you got OB running for president, even though I don?t think he's ready, but that's another post all together.
What's going on with me?
Chilling like a villain. I know that was wack, LOL! But, I'm feeling really silly right now as I type this from my desk.
***Weekend in Review***
Hershey, Hershey, Hershey.
***The End***
LOL! Just kidding, although we did hang out Friday and Saturday. We did the movie at the crib thing on Friday and Saturday we did dinner, J. Foxx concert and Blue Wave (a club).
I never paid attention to just how fine J.amie Fo.xx really is. I mean, post forehead hair plugs. Don't act like you didn't know he had his hairline pulled down over his forehead. Check out some old J.amie Fo.xx show reruns and then look at a picture of him now. You'll see. Anyway, he looks good. The concert was half comedy show and half music. I must admit the comedy portion was much better than the music. And, I was so tired of him saying he won an Oscar. After you applaud 5 times, you don't want to hear it anymore! We get it... you won an Oscar! All in all, I had a good time and I'm glad I went.
The ish hit the fan between Hershey and me at the very end of the night. The whole SC thing came up again, through no fault of his own...not entirely, anyway. I feel us getting closer, but I also feel like he's impeding our progress.
***Long Story Short***
I didn't want to end the night. I wanted to go back to his place, curl up and watch another movie. You know, wake up together. He didn't think it was a good idea because he was afraid of what MIGHT happen and he's not ready to take our relationship to another level until he has worked everything out in his head.
Ok, cool...I get that. BUT...
1. We're not having sex! I'm not ready for that, period! Last time I had sex, the experience scarred me. He wasn't worth it and neither was the sex. He completely overstated his position in life, his morals, his relationship status, and everything else that came out his mouth. So, I want to take my time.
2. You are conciously keeping me at arms length stopping our natural progression.
3. How long are we going to be on hold? Seriously! We spend damn near every weekend together, which is prime real-estate, I might add. The more time we spend together we're naturally going to get closer or grow apart, but I don't see the latter happening. So, again, how long do I wait?
So, I basically told him that if he intends on ending things in the future he might as well end them now because I won't allow myself to be stringed along. In all fairness, I know he's struggling and thinking about what to do. I also know that he likes me a great deal. But, this isn't about him. It isn't even about us, because we haven't made it that far. It's about me. End of story. I have to do what makes me happy and if he isn't the man for the job, then we have to move on!
Of course, when I paraphrased the above, he wouldn't let me get out the car. He couldn't believe that I had just given him an ultimatum and that I was willing to walk away from him and the situation. He's not ready for that to happen. He just wants a little time to resolve within himself the choices that are laid in front of him. My biggest fear is that he'll look up 6 months from now and realize life without kids is not a possibility.Where would that leave me? Alone and dejected. Even though I've done more research and discovered there is a 50/50 chance the child will have SC. So, all is not lost.
Needless to say, we ended up spending then night together after he convinced me not to leave. We went back to his place, watched a movie On-Demand and fell asleep. See, how easy that was? Damn!
From this point forward the ball is exclusively in his court. I'm going to sit back, relax and let him have the space he needs to be okay with whatever decision his heart, mind, and spirit leads him to.
I'm already okay with it.
Smooches :)
posted by Ming Houser, Realtor at
4:53 PM
12 Comments:
WOW!!!
but to his defense and playing devils advocate.. think about it.. if you didn't already have a child, would you be looking at things differently?
glad to know I won't be missing nothing at the J Foxx/Fantasia concert.. the fact that she opened was enough for me to NOT want to go.. I can listen to her on wax.. just not live.. she done scarred me enough when she opened for Kem..
be easy M.. and I hear you as a WOMAN.. but think of it from the other side.. :)
...And speaking from the other side, I say tread lightly but know that he has to go thru a thought process to make sure his emotional investment is the real thing.
Give that brother time to deal.
Please be careful when delivering ultimatums and thangs. Don't scare off what might be a sure bet.
He will come around.
i HATE When negros do that..I wasted like 3-4 months waiting for somebody to not RUSH into things.......where otehrs wanna make it official the very first week. I know everybody's different and moves at their own pace. and im glad u set boundaries and said to yourself the next man i have sex with will be my boyfriend. Im tired of seducing men myself only to let down. I agree with you , to fall back. Maybe you all shouldnt spend so much time together.
Take your time Dynasty. Having a child is a major issue. Give him time to grasp the concept. An ultimatum is too soon. He has shown you already in every other way that he is a good man. He has earned a minute to think about it.
Go slow and good luck.
gurl i understand but like u said the ball is in his court. appreciate the fact he not just jumping ur bones. but set ur boundaries and beware of ur surrounding. the truth of how to handle the situation is within you and don't ignore it!
So hard. I feel you. Who wants to invest all this time in a dude just for him to leave you and decide he can not deal. At the same time nothing is ever promised tomorrow today. Appreciate what you have right now. Everything is fleeting. Maybe God is trying to show you that not everything is in your control. You have to let things unravel how they will. Good luck!
BK: I would look at things differently, as I am now. I'm putting myself in his shoes, so I was trying to make it easy for him by telling him we could end it and there wouldn't be any hard feelings.
Fantasia wasn't there. He had a comedian open for him. I'm glad!
Hassan: I am going to give him space. Although, we still have talked every day since. LOL!
Missy: I waited over a year for a man to work his ish out. Want to know what he did? He moved to LA and got engaged to his ex. That ish hurt and I don't want to go through the disappointment again.
1969: You're right. He has shown me. It wasn't an ultimatum in the truest sense of the word. It was more of a we're at an impass, so what's next.
Although Jamie is a cutie if he mentions his award one more time I'm gonna url right on him LOL...sike let me stop.
I totally get where Sexy Chocolate (I mean Hershey lol) is coming from but I more than understand what you are saying I've been there and I'd rather move on now than invest more time down the line when you could have ended it a long time ago. On top of that you didn't say you wanted to eat him up LOL..just cuddle...good thing that you are chillin and just letting what occur, occur. He might be scared then again who knows what men are thinking lol...he should just let the natural thing happen and cross the bridge of SC when and if you all get to it..but we all know that already, glad you all are still going strong (love the prime real estate quote lol)..ok I think I've blogged enough in your comments LOL
I'm sure all will be well in the end....tread lightly and be careful with your words.
Good luck.
Girl, you have a lot on your plate with this one! I think you're looking at it in a pretty mature fashion. I think it's hard to "be careful" with your heart. What will be will be and I'm glad to see that you're ok with not knowing the outcome. Let it flow and keep praying on it that God shows you what He wants you to see in this man (be it good or bad).
*huggs*
Victory: I appreciate that and other things. He truly has been a breath of fresh air.
Mz JJ: How did you know I was a control freak? LOL! Is it that obvious?
Honey: That's what I'm saying. Leave now before I get vested in this relationship. It's already happening. Dang!
Syn: Thanks for the advice.
BZ: I have prayed about it. So, we'll see. Thanks for the hug!
Rob: You would be the one to draw on a beard! LOL! Thanks for the compliments, babe!
OK dynasty...hit me with the cliff notes. I feel i'm missing some part of this story....what is the SC and child thing? Feel free to direct me to the post I obviously missed.
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